The Apple Fell Far

2008

-Bathroom-

"This is your choice..."

"I know this is my choice! The question is are you ok with it?"

"I'll be here no matter what you decide"

Having said those words...do I really mean it? I bet she is also questioning if I mean it or not. She knows me too well and I can see that she is doubting my words. Common, at least don't lie to your self. You are not ready. You are far far away from being ready. Fatherhood? Marriage? Thats the last thing you need...you're too young. I'm too young.

"...yea, I'm not so sure about that. You don't know how to commit"

If I commit now, could I end up like my father...end up walking out on them? I remember my mother's face on that day. I never want to see anyone go through that. Could I cause such a thing? I don't want to be like him. I want to run, but thats what he did. I'm not like him. Underneath all that gold armor, he was weak and scared. I'm not like him!