River Of Tears

2005

"I drove twelve hundred miles for you"

"Babe, I told you wouldn't like it here!"

This is my fuck up...fuck! I should have never even mentioned that its possible for her to stay with me. It has only been two weeks, and her tears won't stop. This is not going to end. The city is too different for her, she can't adapt. She will drive me and her self crazy.

"I know, I was going to deal with the city...its you I can't hold onto. You are constantly out and on the go..."

"This a new place for me! I barely know anyone here. I need to be out to get connected with people. You like the nice apartment, you like the cadi, and you defiantly like the fancy restaurants...so please give a break!"

I'm such an idiot. I should have put an end to it three months ago. Makes me feel like shit every time I see her cry.

Quicksand

2005

-Hotel-

It is unbelievable how fast two can connect. One second you're introducing your self, the next second you have a knot in your stomach when you haven't heard from her in the past five hours. That feeling is what tells you that you are connected, attached. Now there is a possibility of that connection to be cut...with that possibility we become vulnerable. There is nothing you can do after that but to try your best and make sure the threads don't tear.

So what the fuck are you doing? What happened to 'hit it and leave it' ? Mr. No One Presents A Challenge.
Look at your self. You have been with her four times this week. You anticipate her phone calls for crying out loud! You have been whipped with out realizing it. You are being sucked in deeper and deeper.

Ah now the reality is hitting you? Thats right! You are in a haze, but it will clear up in a couple weeks.....and your will become bored. It will be too late...

*Ring*

...its already fucking late. To answer or not to answer. Either way you will hurt her!

8 Lives Left

2003

-Kitchen-

"...babe tell me!"

"I was about nine. Hanging out with friends at an abandoned construction site..."

"Haha, what? Why in the world did ya hang out at a construction site?"

"It was a regular thing, back then half of the buildings never got finished. Economy problems I guess. I don't know, I was too young. We were also infatuated with heights. Anyway. In the previous hour I fell off a tree I was climbing. Branch snapped. I didn't get hurt...but till this day I still think there was irony in that fall. Pissed off at the branch I carried it with me, don't ask me why.
Back to the construction site. It was the seventh floor that was never finished. "You're it" game was held. About twenty minutes into the game I found my self being chased by one of my friends on the very top floor of the building. Little did we notice...garbage shoots were installed. Seventh floor's garbage shoot was never covered, leaving a 3x3 foot hole in the floor...unmarked"

"Oh...no!"

"It happened so fast. In a blink of an eye.....I was hanging. Holding on by one hand, onto the damn stick. As I fell, the branch held on to the sides. In shock, I was looking down...screaming. I felt someone grab my hand. Then I heard my friend yell at me "Dai Ruku!" ...give me your other hand. After he pulled me out, I just laid there starring at that fucking branch as if it was God"

200 Miles An Hour

2006

-Car-

"...oh you are the biggest fucking hypocrite! You keep saying that you want to slow down..."

"I do"

"Ha, ok. I see the exact opposite"

"Give me a brake"

"No! You always complain to me that you can't find anything worth putting both feet into....yet you never even test the waters"

She's fucking right...I don't remember last time I even tried to stick around. It's the distractions. Fucking distractions every where...I can't even catch a breath. How am I suppose to let someone in, when there is no way they can keep up.

"Listen, you just need to slow down. I bet you have passed so many good ones with out even knowing it. Just fucking try it. Pussy. What are you scared of?"